listen:

apologies for being mopey earlier. it will probably happen again thats just how shit goes. i hate being alone. i have not been single for years. probably since high school. at the very least i have always been seeing someone, or had a mutual interest with someone. i love being loved. i love being held. i love touching someone. i love sleeping next to someone. I DONT EVEN CARE IF THAT SOMEONE IS A GIRL (the exception is family. sleeping next to family freaks me out.) before, when i could not readily access a body to sleep in my bed with me (this actually only applies when im visiting my parents) i would simply call someone and con them into sleeping on the phone with me. i started that habit in high school when i would literally sleep the entire night every night on the phone with chris. probably the last time i did that was the first time i was on ambien. i slept with steinberg on the phone and talked about giraffes, fish on the ceiling, and how i hated the kitchen. he was all like 'yeah, fuck the kitchen!' and i felt so good. i wrote this australian captain i know that i loved him n shit. IT WAS FUCKING GREAT.
with all that being said, you may ask how i survived a year of loneliness in korea. I DIDNT THATS HOW.
i am allowing myself to feel. i am encouraging my tears and actually promoting the flow of emotions. i did not do that in korea. GAYBUKAKE.

even though i double as a robot im still capable of human emotion and if you heard that i only cry oil out of my eyes it is a lie i am solar powered.

i wish i could help everybody in the world. i want to feed the starving. i wish i could give youth the old who look at me and wish they had my age and they could still ballroom dance. i wish everyone that was missing someone could find comfort elsewhere or perhaps be with those who they pine for. i wish you could look exactly how you dream of looking so you could stop snorting lines and get your fucking hand out of your mouth and we can be civil again.


shoulder pads are hideous.