maybe i am being hopeful but it feels like the purpose to things is beginning to shrink. i dont mean to sound like a pussy poet or something but its kind of beautiful when you can see things objectively and when you can have some clarity. things will always be the way they are. everyone (including me!) says happiness is a state of mind. what if your mind has been corrupted? theres pills that can fix that shit. i have this problem when i have pills in front of me. i have to take them. i get so fucking high. so when that happens- your mind being corrupted- you have to stay on your toes and keep your mind sharp. cant let it get too far. but sometimes it gets too far and next thing you know youre completely underneath all the thoughts.
i dont know. someone once told me they wished they could turn their emotions off like i can. i wish i could turn my thoughts off. maybe thats why i have that love affair with the pharms. all i know is i wasnt meant to stick around here this long. im not meant for this place. and i am a little curious for something new and exciting.
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