will you stay, will you stay away forever.

i had some clarity this morning. it did not last long, but it happened. michael leaves for like three weeks today. i am not as distraught as i have been in the past when he leaves. i don't know if this is a sign of maturity or a sign of apathy coupled with being beat down. everytime i start to care (this can apply to everything) i become aware of why i should not even bother. people suck and people will always do what pleases them in the long run. so fucking be it! on the flip side, i have someone who successfully lets me ruin their life on a daily basis- sure i get rebuked for it but its allowed. 
have you ever been in a situation where you should care like if you found out your gf was cheating on you or something but you dont actually care all that much. its not affecting you like AT ALL. so then something snaps inside your brain and you get all hulk pissed off and youre like FUCK THAT BITCH IMA KILL HER but you might just be saying that because you only care that you dont care AM I MAKING ANY SENSE AT ALL HOLY SHIT I THINK I LOST IT.


maybe i just need to go smoke or something. i am suppose to be installing an older version of ist right now but it is being gay and i dont want to take the time to read the instructions so i would rather fuck with it for three hours trying to figure it out instead of spending thirty minutes reading the boring instructions this is how i live my life


that rise against/eminem/a shit ton of other awesome fucking amazing bands concert is next month. i do not think i will be attending this makes me want to die.


ITS GOING TO BE ONE OF THOSE DAYS!