okay basically i will probably be writing more and getting back into a normal lifestyle starting this weekend. it appears the rollercoaster is over and i think it will be for a while. it almost breaks my heart because i gave everything i am to somebody. there's something refreshing about trusting every intimate and personal detail about yourself to somebody you just met and they reveal theirs back. it's like agreeing to donate a piece of yourself forever. that person is taking you and will always have those stories at least until the dementia sets in. it's beautiful. with that being said. i dont regret it. yet.
i could fall in love with an idea.
today i had to give my first presentation. it was filmed. i bombed it pretty fantastically. so now i have a digital memory of a really shitty presentation. ill get better because that's what i do and because if everyone else has faith that i will be okay it's basically no way out. and now i am about to finish contemplating if i really want to get shitfaced. i'd rather not be sober anymore i think i understand addictions now cus theres no reason for sobriety. unless youre my sister. then dont listen to me. i think i have one pill left and it seems like i should save it for a rainy day. heh. a rainy day.
i have two new books i was told to read. i cant wait to read them. and i cant wait to open up my mind to more. because not only am i taking a piece of history with me, but i'm taking fucking knowledge. all because of a seemingly insignificant moment that significantly changed me.
Friday, November 19, 2010
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endings smart a bit eh.
ReplyDeletekeep falling in love and eventually you're gonna break something.
what books?
draw me a veitch diagram, fool.
and don't forget... courage isn't the absence of fear but action despite fear. lewis and clark taught me that.
probably before you came around and explained the lewis/clark exploration, i thought they were bank robbers. or superheros. or something.
ReplyDeletei got on the road by jack kerouac and nausea by jean paul sartre. i have a sad feeling i am going to be even more bored with people after i finish. not everybody can be brilliant, see.
i dont know what the hell you said in the first paragraph, boomerang. but i will google it when my life becomes less complicated.
ReplyDeleteit is what it is. whatever the fuck that means. man, my brain is fried.
sorry your sunday sucked. mine was nothing fantastic. guh.
i had some infuriating lighting complications i'll tell you about some other time. and problems with the bestie. yea, that one. and lost my ID for a bit.
ReplyDeleteveitch diagrams are associated with boolean algebra, bra. or am i thinking venn diagram. i don't know, i didn't pay attention to that bullcrap in techie school.
it is what it is wouldn't be such a douchey statement if it wasn't so beloved by the douchey people, as it goes.
unfry your brain dummy.
note: second line from the bottom- take out that "the". i was gonna say something else but made a last minute edit. we could all use a good proofreader.
ReplyDelete