i think things happen for a reason i have always believed that saying. except for a year. i met two of my favorite people that year- brandon and jason. but i also lost my identity. that's kind of not worth it sorry. i am back to eating pills on the regular and i have a pretty cool job with pretty cool people. that last part seems to be what is making things better. but this morning i woke up cus someone was knocking and i had no fucking idea where i was if i was even alive who was in bed next to me who the last person i talked to was or what my fucking name was. so i laid there for a few minutes til shit started making sense. did not help that my phone was dead.
i am seeing a glimpse of happiness defined by me for the first time in a long time. it is not like i was not happy when i got out of korea. but i had a lot of person issues going on and uncertainty and my self confidence was shot and there was much to be pined for. maybe it's that i'm working out again. fuck if i know. what i do know is this
i am better than you.
all of you. i can mind fuck you into submission. you can only dream of being an ounce of what i am. and i am going to ride this motherfucker til the wheels fall off. and yes. we can absolutely be friends. as long as you are not a flaming idiot.
oh. and i got kicked in the face this morning. that part was my favorite. maybe going up to tucson today for a real mall. maybe not. definitely going next weekend for the haunted house bullshit.
Saturday, October 23, 2010
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I know I am better then you at least while you are on pills. Sorry, but I think addictions are weaknesses. We all have our opinions I guess.
ReplyDeleteBrilliant people don't have addictions. Interesting enough though, I cannot fathom how an addiction to something is, without any variation, always a weakness. Even narrowing the scope of addiction down to substance abuse/dependence, I fail to see how that could apply to her.
ReplyDeleteIn your opinion, you suggest that the pursuit of reward should only occur on certain channels, somehow granting you strength or... by doing so requires strength. Regardless of what side of the fence you sit, the opposite will seem equally perverse. So if you wish to progress beyond finger-pointing...
You must only measure things by their consequences. An activity provides a reward and may or may not have consequences. There is such a thing as casual non-problematic activity. This is the case here.
Oh btw, I hate myself for writing the above. sorry. Its just I hate things to be unfairly painted and associated because of a social stigma.
definitely not worth it.
ReplyDelete:)