redefined.: none of those lines seemed to be about you or me.

i just got done talking to jami for like over an hour. she asked me if i had done something and instead of being an idiot and saying 'what does that mean' i said no and she went on to explain it anyways and that i would have to do it before friday and then by some luck of word smithing she realized i had already done the task at hand so then she was all giddy. work: 0, svengali: 1.
apparently i have lost one of my good friends today so a moment of silence please. aint no sunshine when hes aroundddddddddddd. you can say that again, non billwithers.
other than that, my life continues to be mildly boring and only amusing to uh no one. i think i am going to be deleting my online profiles for good. i dont know what ill do instead but i need to take a step back right now and stop living in this cushioned fake life. i want real again. i want to feel. but do not be confused. i want to feel something you dont know.
it was... interesting? while it lasted. the act of caring for another human is cool. probably does not make for a good hobbie and it brings too much baggage. call me a bitch, tell me i think i am high and mighty and self absorbed, i dont fucking care. i look down on everybody. YES I DO THINK I AM FUCKING BETTER THAN YOU and there are several reasons as to why. ive had people ask me why i think i am better than them and how i can judge them, blahblah. if you care so much that i am "judging" you, THERE IS YOUR REASON FUCK FACE.
a real person wouldnt give a shit. they would either continue to ignore whatever 'judgment' call i just made or they would walk away that simple. so in the future, this is why. dont ask me why. if you are on my level, my wavelength if you will, then thats it. no need to further discuss it. you wont be offended if i laugh at you or call you a slut (because you know you are).

you exist.
i exist.
we know each other and therefore a relationship exists.
i owe you NOTHING.
and you have made it clear you owe me nothing.

i can be the most interesting most charming most beautiful person youve ever met but you wont mean a fucking thing to me. thats the only way you can have it.

everyone around me is freaking out because of next weeks impending chaos i guess i must be languor. ataraxia? who knows. things can go any way right now and i am not fighting it anymore mainly because i cant but because its ineffectual. ill be typing up my two weeks notice between now and today.

who wants to be my just-in-case roommate? I DONT HAVE FLEAS hohoho