LISTEN TO ME.

something strange is happening. i am uncertain to proceed. i am unfamiliar with this territory. my eyes are burning and i have a fading headache. i have been given a metaphorical key and i hold a separate metaphorical set of keys. i could have everything and nothing and i could have nothing and everything and it is crucial to understand these are completely different from each other.
my body aches for all the wrong reasons and i have not accomplished what i set out to do. 


i had a whole idea of something to write about. childhood issues. my parents forcing abstinence down my throat. rape issues. being raped by someone i trusted. several times. sex issues. everything being melded together. i think i am freud's wet dream. i am more perverted than you is all i am saying.


running. sweating. sex. lies. cooking. independence. sheds. degrees. dogs. pools. if i tried i couldnt even describe it. 


in order to have effective creative writing you need to be as ambiguous as fucking possible. the less people understand the better. this is my pseudo diary. for everyone to read and a proxy bff4l hoffhoffhoff
what i write stays contained here. what i write here is MINE. i dont care if you like it i dont care if you love i dont care if you read it i am not here for you. THIS IS MY ESCAPE. 


right now everybody is confusing me. a lot. people keep saying shit and i think they expect me to understand it, like an inside joke. but i don't. this applies to you! right now only one person is making sense to me. 
it is time for rest because i am working for the weekend baby.