i can pretend.

i had a strange symbolic dream last night about jumping out of an airplane with my mom and reading the words on top of the parachute of the guy who jumped before us. ive never felt so happy in a dream like i did when i jumped out of that plane and seemed to leave behind every problem. when i landed a girl was waiting and she took me away. later in my dream, i left a coffee shop and was followed by a homeless so i called mike on speakerphone and told him i was on my way and i was being followed and the bum tried to cut me. so i killed him dead.
i was confused when i woke up.


but today i have a desire to leave everything behind. and everyone. all of you. start over new. take a new name. erase every memory. i wonder if i could do that.
i hate being forgotten. but if i dip out before that has a chance to happen i consider that a win. BAILING FTW.


i guess i have an interview this afternoon. it's friday. tomorrow i intend on forgetting how shitty people make me feel. i wonder how many more times i can get kicked out of my apartment by someone who isnt even in the same state as me. i wonder if that means i dont have to pay the electricity bill? 


i had to sit here while mason, erl, and bobby tried to get my attention repeatedly for like 20 minutes. it was fucking annoying. mason kept yelling my name (if im wearing my headphones HOW DOES THAT TRANSLATE TO PLEASE TALK LOUDER) i dont know man. everywhere i look to for an escape it seems too drastic or too unlikely to work. 


i fucking hate liars, in case you didnt know. 
i guess if you want to have the last laugh thats cool too. i already had mine. several times. over and over and over.