i am only happy when it is cold.

it is the weekend remember when i say im working for the weekend baby what i meant to say is I HAVE NO LIFE OR PURPOSE. i hate drinking alone. oh but i also hate being alone so its all irrelevant. 
dont you hate when your favorite people leave? makes you want to cut your face off. i wish it was 60 degrees where i am at. i wish i could wear pretty clothes. summer clothes isnt pretty its tacky. kitsch. and nothing screams HAPPINESS more than a long sleeve or a hoodie.


i wonder if what i am going through right now is karma kicking my face in. but i have been very nice lately. do you know what the secret number is? ten. do you know when the last time that number was altered? march. do you know how desperately i want to change that number? A WHOLE FUCKING LOT. 
theres a place where the sun always shines that sounds pleasant. i read about some grizzly bear attacking some dude in ohio today. bears are the number one rising terrorists in this country. and russia.


my karma is off. i wonder if i could fix this. it is probably too late.


theres nothing left in sv anyways. mr i-n-d-e-p-e-n-d-e-n-t is too independent for my taste. in fact everybody is. unless i can manipulate you in a way that i dont HAVE to ask you what youre doing then i am not interested. i want to be with myself. that would be true love. oh yea. i was told that four days out of the week of sex is excessive. also, it feels like hes being raped when i come onto him. i guess when im not subtly saying "hey, are you going to fuck me tonight?" and i go for the subtle grab for the dick it comes off as overly aggressive.
i am never going to be 21 again. my tits will never be this perky. my ass will never be this fantastic again! i guess this is counterproductive, writing this shit on a public blog eh.
i wonder how much it would cost to move all my shit? i wonder how fast i have to drive my car into a wall to go into a coma? if im in a coma guys PULL THE PLUG. cus i wanna feel it.