those who are once found to be bad are presumed to be so forever. -latin proverb

it would be my luck that the day i go to the ed center, the two reps are not there. must be a sign. 
as is always the case, with this new found freedom, i've been thinking an awful lot. about everything!
there's a certain friend who i admire and respect, and he's opened my eyes to how nasty the people in this world are (not that i didn't already know that, it's just i've been sheltered lately.) i'm skeptical to jump face first into this job situation. i really wish me and mikey were already in AZ so i could start this gaybot job search and get the first rejection out of the way (and the second, third, etc...) (did you know that a "..." is called a ellipsis?).
alas.
not possible.


i'm not one that most people would consider modest or humble. but i'm having a real fuckin' difficult time making myself sound like a bad ass on this resume stuff. 


so the latin proverb that is the title of this; let's put some thought into it.
i'm notorious for being stubborn in formed opinions. once i've made up my mind about something or someone, it would take an act of Gods to change it. i'm pretty simple in the types of people i enjoy. i love practical jokes and simple humor and appreciate anyone who can bring that around. with that being said, i like just about anyone! and i only ask for a few things from people i want to keep in my present life. don't lie about stupid shit. contribute to conversation. be genuine- for God sake, be genuine! don't dumb down what you're saying, i am smarter than i look. and don't make me dumb down what i say. 
certain characteristics are more important than others. honesty, loyalty, trust, intelligence, etc.
honesty, here, is the most important one. or maybe it's loyalty. i'm a rather loyal person, if i do say so myself. i try my hardest to stick to my word. i slip from time to time, and sometimes it's in my best interest to abandon a cause. i also have point systems i adhere to. this is more of a personal thing and i won't go too into it. i've tried to explain it to others in the past and usually it makes no sense.
that's because it's selfish. i'm a very selfish person. at least i admit it. 
if i can't trust you, our relationship has lost all it's value. 
i would never describe myself as 'forgives easily' and i have selective memory. i have lost many 'ships because of that.


ah well. it doesn't matter. 
i think that i've let too many things get the best of me in the past year or two. and it's been fucking with my head for so long. in order to get where i want to be in life, i need to "let go" of these bonds and ties i have and be me. 
my element was always in a place surrounded by new people and now i find myself avoiding new people. it's just easier that way, sometimes. 


anyways, there's a cool show on animal planet that requires my full attention.


peace!