the days are cold living without you

im glad i have some vivid memories of the past six months
my heart hasnt felt the same since april.
a day doesnt go by without this huge weight setting down heavily on my chest


ha, that last weekend we went to tombstone out of nowhere. it wasnt suppose to happen but it did. maybe it was the worlds way of making things happen. those last few moments i guess. nothing exciting anyways. there was this abandoned home. couldnt break in because we werent there to make a mess, just photograph. i wanted this license plate but i was reminded that we take nothing, leave nothing. whatever, whatever, whatever. i crawled into some little shed and looked at the tool bags and a box of spoons and forks. they were over across the street and down some small hill already, trespassing through some tall brush towards an abandoned and wrecked old car. there were some basketballs and such around there too. while they were talking i noticed some old man watching us. so we left. and back to the car and back to looking for nothing. we passed the church with the Jesus bust again. you could obviously tell he was sick but fuck. he was a fucking soldier and i asked him if he was okay and of course he was. 
something about all of this is making life incredibly hard and no matter what level of happiness i am able to find i wont ever be the same. 
i miss you so fucking much brother.