fuck it. buy the coke. cook the coke. cut it. know the bitch before you caught yourself lovin it.

so all is right with the world again or something. i decided i want to collect license plates and that has been the topic for the past few weeks. also i mentioned a stalker and that was the reason why i had to go private for a little while. stop fucking asking haha jokes! i’m glad someone gives a shit. no but seriously all those lifetime movies make stalkers look like a lot of fun and theres always a scene where the psycho girl is chasing the awesome girl around the house with a kitchen knife and then someone shoots the psychopath in the head and the movie ends but in my life that is not how things played out. no. instead the psycho is still alive and she just does not bother me anymore because she probably figured out i am the most boring person to stalk. speaking of boring, i am so incredibly boring oh my god i am typing this thinking wow i wish i had run someone over or something interesting to write about. so its hitlers birthday which reminds me of simon rich’s bit

as soon as my time machine was finished, i traveled back to 1890, so i could kill hitler before he was old enough to commit any of his horrible crimes. it wasn't as gratifying as i thought it would be.
-oh my god. you killed a baby.
-yes, but the baby was hitler.
-who?
-hitler. it's...complicated.
-officer? this man just killed a baby.

haha that is humorous as fuck.