motherfuck. goddamn. so i end up finding something to focus on and pour a little of myself out. it's important to separate pieces of yourself out so that you do not lose all of you one day. conservation. so that is what i did because it seems easier to apply the 'sink of swim' method of thinking it seems easier if maybe i make things so horrible that maybe something right will happen because that shit works all the time. so that is what i am doing.
ive spread myself so thin though and once again there is hardly anything left and i'm doing all the wrong things for all the wrong reason and it is insanity. it is all just so sad. and now i dont want to leave even if theres nothing here. but on the flip side there is nothing there either.
Friday, January 28, 2011
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