i hate the word connected now. i wish i was DISCONNECTED. its almost the end of 2010 and that means i lived my second decade. you know what? fuck that decade. the past ten years are fucking disgusting.
aside from EVERYTHING has lost it's meaning... it feels like i've lost my basic understanding of life. it seemed that as a kid (ten years ago) everything made so much sense. it was simple. go to school. fall in love. get married. have a job. make money. buy things and a house. retire. die. probably in that order. almost none of that happened. especially not in that order. i was a huge slut for a while. i probably have mouth aids by now. i barely finished school. i went to war before my 20th birthday and i attempted suicide by pills, and then later became heavily addicted to those stupid pills.
i've become dissociated with everything. and yet, i'm still connected. let me explain.
i want to run away with the first person who is willing to leave everything behind. we can communicate with family and possibly friends via the pony express. we'll buy stamps and send fucking letters and goddamned post cards. BUT ENOUGH WITH THE FUCKING PHONES AND THE FUCKING TEXTING AND THE FUCKING SOCIAL MEDIA.
on an average google "image search", so i can get a basic idea of what i am "googling" looks like, i see at least four tits. i'm pretty sure if i were to google cute cats, by the third stroll, i would have a giant fucking snatch right in the middle of my computer screen.
i am the biggest hater of porn. i'm pretty sure anybody who knows me, knows that. i think if you cant get your fucking rocks off without having to watch three girls getting nailed by thirteen guys and getting money shots at the end, then i should probably not marry you.
but now? in this past decade? the only thing that gets a real reaction out of people is watching 'two girls one cup' videos. but nobody gives a shit.
on any given day, some retard on one of these retarded social networking site informs all of us about where they are. thanks! thanks so much, man. maybe i will join you. just maybe!
marriage has no fucking meaning! having kids barely means anything! who isnt cheating on their spouse or lying about where they are? who even plans their kids anymore? thank god for abortions, right?
i'm ranting.
probably because
i was expecting a lot of changes ten years ago. but nothing like the ones we got.
i want to disconnect but it's a lonely life. everybody's so busy buzzing around, being connected. giving a shit, while at the same time, saying they don't care.
i honestly do not care.
find me someone who's willing to pull the plug and i'll find us some tickets to get the fuck out of here.
Wow. That was a really good post. I don't think anyone is really living at where they expected to be ten years ago thinking about their future. I sure as hell know kids or marriage were in the picture. I was completly happy being alone and getting fucked up with friends. But shit happened and I did exactly what you said you want to do. I packed my shit and left EVERYONE behind. Friends family everyone. Still kept in touch but only with family. I went from being addicted to being "online" to hardly ever using a computer. Txting wasn't even available back hen unless you paid a really high fee. And you know what.......it was the greatest thing I ever did. Finally there was silence and I slowly started over again.
ReplyDeleteagain, memorizing. cognitive dissonance. pulling the thorn out of your paw is a scary proposition... the blood may never stop flowing... but life without walking isn't life.
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