backwards.

destructive desires donate deluge, defeating durable devotion. desensitizing. devoid and desiccate. delivering dross destined dubiety- denigration. drubbed delacroux disaster.

the vows were never set in stone because they never existed in the first place the jokes stuck out as a forewarning and our friends came as a last minute witness to the shame that was being transcribed. if i could do it again... if i could. time and distance cast as variables into a play of real emotions. real people. real life. who thought this would be a good idea. you were hollywood from a small town and i am the embodiment of irony in skin suffering from lust detox. the roof top. the backyard. the tugging of sleeves. the bus ride. the long flight to aceldama. nothing could prepare for the end of the nightmare cus we get so fucking arrogant. 

purity and reason and boring predictability. chemical induced euphoria becomes taboo as does losing panties in backseats and swapping candy and cigarette smoke with other women at a nameless bar. looktothesequickthrillswithdollarbillsandsecretchillsforaluckytimewhisperingyoullbeminefuckit'sfine. 

panic strewn across your face as i meticulously study the facts as you face a window and back away. you're shaking and my patience has waned. a lifetime of bad short stories and freedom at the tip of my tongue. silence. humor. silence. curiosity. silence. dive in. how long has this been going on. silence. blank. innocence has been robbed you open your mouth and all i see are colors and you open your mouth and all i see is failed hope and you open your mouth and i hear buzzing. 

ive found promise. my silver lining is rusted before it's time. when i shake and seize from a mass intake i'll find release and ill close my eyes like that day in october. we feel good together. we vibe together. we're perfect together and yet we're nothing together.

it was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of light, it was the season of darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to heaven, we were all going direct the other way. -charles dickens.