before i get into my fulmination of sorts, i want to say something.
i got punched in the nose last night. punched. FUCKING PUNCHED. in the face.
like, looked up and saw a giant fist going straight towards my nose. and more importantly, it was michael delivering this powerful blow to my precious beak.
but let me clarify before i continue. we were play wrestling in bed and i let go to try to move in for a choke and in that moment he was reaching for my wrists and blam. next second, my eyes are welling with tears, i'm clutching my nose and whimpering. the next second, i'm shuffling to the bathroom mirror to check if there's perma damage. there wasn't. my body is so awesome, it didn't even bleed. i have the coolest body defenses. it takes a fucking wrecking ball to leave a bruise on me and a shark attack to draw blood. anyways. i did cry like a little bitch. i thought i was that age where i can fall, scrape my knee and not cry. apparently i'm not. hi, i'm six.
moving on.
i'm going to skip the vent i was going to go on. and say that apocalyptica- i dont care reminds me of when i first got to 532 S3 and worked with brandon and deese. the former was a cool cat. one of my favorite people i met in the army, albeit a short time. deese turned out to be the biggest pain in the ass. though, many people laughed at his expense. owell. fuck that guy. anyways, i used to listen to that song a lot back then. that was a few days before my life as i formerly knew it ended.
now i'm listening to thrice- trust. this song reminds me of when i worked at the pizza place and there was a delivery guy that worked with me n he used to sing a few of the words. i don't think he knew the song in it's entirety.
my time working at that pizza place was my first time in the 'real world', while still being able to hide under momNdad's safety, so to speak. the first and last time i'd have that experience, actually. so outside of high school and the pieces of shit i had to interact with there, (note: people i was forced to see on a daily in high school- fucking disgusting. when i think of it, it makes me slightly vomit. seriously. could there be a bigger group of degenerates and filthy skanks? oh. wait. the army. i forgot.) this was the first time i worked with a different set of people (aside from denny's. that didn't count)
i'm glad i got to experience that! where the fuck would i be without that minimum wage paying job where the sleezebag mexican cooks in the background hit on me and said nasty shit in spanish, while tossing the dough? or without them talking shit about me to all the other employees? or without burning my fingertips off at least 3 times a day? or without getting the opportunity to solidify within myself that i would never allow myself to be the loser 'grown ups' that worked there that were well over 30 years old. who the fuck works at a pizza place over the age 23? i'll answer my own question with "3/4 of the employees of ameci's in 2006".
fuck those guys.
now i'm listening to lil wayne- lollipop. funny thing about this song was that i hated it when it came out. i was dating some white kid with a big nose and weighed about 85 pounds. anyways, the kid thought he was black. i don't mind when black people think they're black, cus. no shit. they're black. but nope. this guy was in perpetual identity crisis and would listen to lil wayne. thus, i hated it. we broke up the day i went to michaels house (the day i officially met michael) and decided i'd rather be with michael than this faggot ass. then i started listening to lil wayne and lollipop was almost always playing when i would haul ass during lunch to michael's apartment every day. that was back when shit was awesome.
i was constantly high. constantly. i had so much fucking ambien, i could have taken baths in the shit. and i had a 25 year old "boyfriend" who had a bad ass roommate (dutz!) and their fridge never had food but the freezer always had vodka. and if we weren't smoking, we were watching youtube and drinking. that might not sound like a lot to anybody else but for me? that was heaven. i had just gotten back from iraq and my short term memory was shot. it was bliss!
then things started changing, as they will in life. dutz moved out, we moved to tina's place, got a ferret, left the ferret with some chick, went to NC, got married, moved back to ghetto apartments, started paying for our "candy" and then shit moved even faster when he left and then i had to come to korea.
guh.
oneiric
1. Of, pertaining to, or suggestive of dreams; dreamy.
i worked out today. yesterday was my day off. mainly because i decided i'd rather sleep in. i went in the afternoon instead of 10am. it was horrible. i was all shaky and shit. then michael came home and we went to get groceries. no matter how we do it, we spend a grip of money there. the taxis managed to piss me off yet again like i knew they would. iwantmymf'ingcarbacknowwwwwww.
olsons! girl of the day is
anette michel
mexican model and soap actress.
hey, some depressing ass elliott smith- needle in the hay just came on the pod. bahaha who listens to these tunez.
oy! three days grace- take me under. such a great fuckin song! i think after rise against, tdg is my favorite. even if they conjure up images of high schoolers.
alright, this post is long enough already. sorry for boring. cheerz!
Wow, that post was filled with a lot of angst. I think Blink 182 - All The Small Things, reminds me of my time working at a pizza place. Tho, from the sounds of it, I think my time there was a lot more enjoyable for me. Things were simple then and it felt nice to know that if I ever got incredibly mad I could just quit. oh, the powers of being 18 and having that kind of control. Maybe that is why I had such difficulties with the Army. I know power and lost it, I knew good leadership and lost that too. It amazes me that an organization that prides itself on building good leaders lacked good leaders. I could go on all day about this...but I won't.
ReplyDeleteDrugs are bad. Stay away from them. ;)
yeah it was kinda angsty huh it wasnt meant to be. i've been feeling happier than ever lately! but i guess a lot of the stuff that's happened recently has been lame. i used to pride myself in my stories but i don't have that many good ones. i guess i can laugh about a lot of stuff now, but most of my stories require a back story and that sounds whiny lmao it seems like everyone worked at a pizza place at one time or another! i second what ya say, though. it's weird that my image of the army, military, govt, etc has changed so drastically since i saw the types of people who build up the structure. ya lose hope after that. i feel sorry for all the new people to the army who are all doe eyed about deploying and going to their next duty stations. it's almost pathetic. but i cant blame them for it... they just dont know and maybe they're weak. or maybe i'm the weak one but i highly doubt that. anyone who is smart does not desire to be in the army. that is logic. there is no pride to stand in a square formation and as Einstein said "heroism on command, senseless violence, and all the loathsome nonsense that goes by the name of patriotism".
ReplyDeletethey are all so eager to be gi joe/gi jane. but they're just so fucking stupid and young and naive to realize, that's not a good thing.
anyways, it's a good thing that i got out.
coming to a unit that's like AIT phase 2, being that it was mainly comprised of soldiers who either A) were straight out of AIT or B) never deployed C) douchebags was the best thing that happened in my ETS process i guess.
i once calculated, with a friend, how many people had to fuck up in the past, to produce a shitty E7. the number was astounding, mind blowing.
essentially, we factored in the number of boards they had to attend, and the number of boards those board members had to attend to make the rank they held- to be in a position to grant others leadership status.
fast foward>> the number was fucking high and a lot of people fucked up to produce SFC Violet Williams or whatever her ghetto ass name was.
fuuuuuuuuuck.
i'm really mouthy today.